Vital Stats Name: John T. Sample Hair Color: Blonde/White Eyes: Blue Height: 6'11" Build: Scarecrow Nationality: American Quote: "I told him to keep to the tour group at all times. Well, I thought he was listening. I’m sure that he will return shortly. Yes, yes, not a hair on his head touched. Well, I simply can’t make a promise for the rest of him. … Madame, please stop crying."

Hailing from everywhere and nowhere simultaneously, John T. Sample is the quintessential showman. As purveyor of The Impossible House, he weaves tales with a liar’s ease and moves through rooms as if he was born for the trapeze, winning friends and courting enemies with often the same breath. If there’s a question to be answered, he deflects it, if there’s a mystery to be unraveled, he tangles it, never letting the truth get in the way of a good intrigue. Ever affable but never gullible, John T. Sample seems to always know the next disaster around the corner (with every chance he had a hand in it).